Whose Table Is It

The proverbial table. We've all heard and/or participated in discussions regarding 'the table'.  Some people will even go as far as claiming that they don't bring stuff to the table because they ARE the table, lol.

A friend sent me a message, you know the usual screenshots doing the rounds on social media. The screenshot read,

“Men want women to bring something to the table but the table is not even his. The table was given to his grandma by her employer, then the grandma gave it to his mother, who gave it to him and now it’s broken because men destroy things.

Now, you want me to bring something to your grandma’s employer’s broken table? No. It is an honour for me to even come to this table so I’m not bringing anything.

I will consider bringing something to the table if you can prove that it is yours, and it better be in good condition because I got my ish together and I’m not about to settle for a broken table.”

This message has so many nuances. I'm not gonna get into all of them, but it got me thinking. Yes the state of the table is important, but whose table is it?

I don’t have all the answers either, but the notion that the table belongs to the man already puts me at a disadvantage, and my role becomes that of an invitee. If I let the table be someone else’s responsibility then I’ll always be a guest… at someone else’s table. Can one be a guest and an equal at the same time? If I want equality, which I interpret as FAIRNESS, it is realistic for me relinquish all the 'table' responsibility to someone else?

As convenient and easy as it would be for me to sit at someone else’s table, I’ve decided that maybe I don’t want to. Instead of bringing cute ornaments to the table I wanna help build the table. If for no other reason than the simple fact that I can. 

…and unlike the ‘grandma’ and the ‘mother’ referred to in this screenshot, I want full credit for it… and all the rights and privileges that come with being part-owner of the said table.

What do you think?

Yimina ozithobayo,


Snothando

Micellar Water vs Toner/ Everyday Night Time Skin Care Routine

A couple of months ago I bought micellar water. I’ve heard a lot of good things about it so I wanted to try it out. I use the micellar water as a secondary make-up remover after facial wipes. After a few uses I started wondering whether or

not I can use the water as a toner as well. So I did a little research and here’s what I’ve deduced:

Micellar water is a cleanser. It contains micelles (tiny oily molecules) that are partially dissolved in soft water; the micelles are the cleansing agent that attract and dissolve dirt and oil from your skin. It is recommended that you rinse your face after using the micellar water.

On the other hand a toner is used to restore moisture after cleansing your skin; you are generally not required to rinse it off. It also helps prep the skin for better absorption of nutrients from your mask, serum, and/or moisturiser.

Here’s how I incorporate the two products in my night time skin care routine (especially for days when I wear make-up):

Step 1:

I apply coconut oil all over my face, leave it for a minute or two then wipe it off using a facial wipe.

Step 2:

Apply a few drops of micellar water (currently using Garnier SkinActive Micellar Water) on a cotton pad and wipe off any access dirt.

Step 3:

Depending on how much energy I have left after a whole day’s work (and traffic) I either both cleanse and exfoliate or I do one of. For my cleanser I use L’Oreal Pure Clay Detox Wash and the Neutrogena Hydro Boost Exfoliator for exfoliating.

Sometimes I’ll use the L’Oreal cleanser with my cleansing brush and skip the ’chemical’ exfoliator.

Step 4:

Apply toner using a cotton pad. I’m using the Dischem Rose Water and have been for a while. Actually I used it as a make-up remover as well before I bought the micellar water.

Step 5:

Apply serum; I use the Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair.

Step 6:

Moisturise. I have numerous moisturisers but predominantly use the Nivea Crème for my super dry skin.

Yimina ozithobayo

Snothando

The Real Woman

This term ‘real woman’ has always bothered me. What am I talking about? …

A male celebrity, many women’s heartthrob, successful actor, was recently pictured with his fiancé on a beach somewhere; wearing beach appropriate attire. The lady was wearing a white one piece, high leg, and low-cut back swimsuit. She’s on the thicker side. Not fat, but not skinny either. She’s what I’d call average sized. Although I can’t say for sure, her body looks natural - as opposed to surgically enhanced. She has cellulite, stretch marks and all; a beautiful, natural-looking body. It was refreshing to see really. 

Then I started reading the comments. There were naysayers as always, but most of the comments were positive. This is great, right?

Here’s where my concern comes in, some of the positive comments kept referring to the ‘real woman’ phenomenon. “It’s refreshing to see a real woman’s body”. Look, I get it, media is filled with photoshopped and surgically enhanced bodies. It’s reassuring to see something different from time to time. A body type that perhaps the majority of women can identify with.

That being said, referring to her body as ‘real’ almost implies that someone who has a different body type is not a real woman. I have seen this kind of commentary many times. 

It begs the question, what makes her body more real than a woman who is slimmer or is perhaps cellulite free? The closer to ‘perfection’ your body is, the less real you are? Can we not find a way to compliment her beautiful body without causing division and implying that someone else is less than? If her body is that of a ‘real woman’ how should someone who doesn’t have thick thighs identify themselves, are they not real women?

For me the ideal goal would be to stop body shaming period. Celebrate the diversity; all shapes and all sizes. We’re not going to achieve that by flipping the table; slyly shaming the media-celebrated body type in order to elevate the other (thicker). It seems vengeful.

Everyone deserves to feel beautiful, and we’re all REAL.

Yimina ozithobayo,

Snothando



Fragranced Oils for Hair

I love my natural products, so does my hair but let’s be honest, most of them don’t smell that great. It’s not only oils but some store bought hair products don’t exactly smell like roses either. Who wants to walk around smelling like castor oil? It’s great for the hair but offensive to your sense of smell. Furthermore, if like me you were forced to drink castor oil as a child, the smell can be downright traumatic. I know I’m being a bit dramatic here but you get the drift.

You do get products that are not so bad of course. For example, I don’t mind the smell of coconut oil or cocoa butter, and I actually love the smell of shea butter. To me the latter smells like a combination of bark and rain. Pure natural goodness!!

On the opposite scale products like neem oil, hemp seed, olive, mafura, almond oil, just to name a few, smell like the not so glamorous side of nature. They’re all great for the hair but very primal smelling, lol.

To be honest I’m not greatly offended by most of the smells, probably because I tend to prioritise the health benefits. However I do socialise, and sometimes get self-conscious about some of these natural smells.

Luckily I’ve found a solution.J Mask the smell with something else; genius really!! There are a few products that I use for this purpose. Not to say they don’t have health benefits, but I primarily use them for their fragrance.

Dark and Lovely Amla Legend Oil of Seven Wonders

African Pride Olive Miracle Growth Oil

Lavender Essential Oil – usually added to my daily spritz if I’m not going to use any of the above oils.

I get most of my oils from Dischem, Clicks, and Faithful to Nature.

Yimina ozithobayo

Snothando

Gel as a Styling Product

When I went natural one of the styling products that was mentioned a lot was gel, mostly Ecostyler gel. You can imagine my frustration when I couldn’t readily find it in South Africa; this was about 2 to 3 years ago. I was so desperate I even went as far as making my own gel using flax seeds. I’ve also bought a few gels over the years including two samples of the coveted Ecostyler gel. However I’ve just realised that I don’t use gel.

Ever since I discovered that I couldn’t do a wash and go I haven’t felt the need to use gel. My hair has no discernible curl pattern and therefore a wash and go just results in a shrunken mess. The last time I tried it using flaxseed gel, even though the wet results looked very promising, when my hair dried I was left with a white flake-like residue all over my hair. I had to rewash my hair to get rid of it, very disappointing. The other gel I used just didn’t dry and all I got was a sticky mess.

I don’t care for laid edges or sleek hairstyles either; I have little to no baby hairs and my hair doesn’t lay. It just doesn’t. The one time I used a gel successfully was when I did finger coils. They came out very nice but were too time consuming and I’ve never tried again.

I’ve also used gel to enhance the definition of my twist outs or braid outs. I must admit I didn’t really see much of a difference, maybe I wasn’t using it right. I also didn’t like how my hair felt with gel in it, all dry and crunchy. Now that my hair is a bit longer, the only reason I do twist-outs or braid-outs is to stretch my hair and not to define it.

I’ve listed the three reasons I know to using a gel; laid edges, sleek hairstyle, and definition. So before I throw away the gels I have left I’m asking myself, am I missing something? Am I being left out of a movement? Does anyone out there use gel, and if so how?

Yimina ozithobayo

Snothando

What's In My Smoothie

I’ve taken to drinking smoothies because I think it’s a great way to get your body those essential nutrients. It’s simple and:

·        doesn’t require any cooking, lord knows I’m not a fan;

·        the fact that it’s raw means the nutrients are intact, ever heard the saying, “you cook it, you kill it”?

·        no skill or measurements required, just gooi;

·        on the go snack or meal; and

·        most of all, you can create your own recipes to suit your taste and nutritional needs.

Although smoothies are not a replacement for a balanced healthy diet, they sure are a good supplement.

I alternate between a few, depending on my mood, what’s in my kitchen, and how much time I have. However, I do have a staple smoothie and simply add other ingredients depending on what I have available at the time.

The staple:

·        Carrot

·        Apple*

·        Cucumber

·        Water

I seem to always have these ingredients in my fridge.

The extras:

·        Celery*

·        Seeds*

·        Ginger

·        Strawberries

·        Grapefruit*

·        Guava

·        Beetroot

·        Cinnamon

·        Turmeric

*These are foods I don’t necessarily like but have great health benefits, and because of smoothies I’m able to add them onto my diet.

I usually add one or three ‘extras’ to my staple and I’m ready to go. I tend to avoid sweeteners like maple syrup, and dairy products. The fruit have more than enough sugar and I eat enough dairy for at least two people; a bad habit I’m trying to curb.

The biggest challenge for me is consistency, but I have found the perfect time for smoothies. The slow-moving, congested drive to work in the morning. I can either sit idle, slowly getting annoyed at life and adulting or I can do something productive like nourishing my body. J

Yimina ozithobayo,

Snothando

My Everyday Make-up Routine

 

I’m a fan of all things feminine, but I wasn’t really that much into make-up until recently. What piqued my interest you ask…

Well, I had my wedding coming up and was under the impression that I’d be able to do my own make-up. I mean, how hard can it be? The YouTubers make it look so easy. Besides, if I do my own make-up I get to control the results. I can still look like myself, just a tad flawlessJ. Unfortunately both my planner and bridesmaids vehemently opposed this idea, and I succumbed. I still did my own hair though.

So even though I ended up using a professional on my big day, I’d accumulated a lot more make-up than usual; all in the effort to practice and perfect my skills. I must say, my practice sessions were mostly fun but sometimes frustrating. Have you ever followed a YouTube video step-by-step and still found that your results look nothing like the tutorial? Yoh!

Anyway, I’ve ended up with all this make-up lying around so I might as well use it, right?

I have developed an everyday make-up routine which includes:

1.      A single light layer of foundation. This just kinda blurs blemishes and evens skin tone while I still look foundation free (I hope). I alternate between Loreal Paris True Match Liquid Foundation and Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation at the moment. Love them both actually.

2.      Fill in my eyebrows. I prefer retractable pencils, sharpening is so primitive, lol. My favourite is the NYX Micro Brow Pencil, gives a more natural looking brow. I have also used MAC Spike Brow Pencil (which I was told was discontinued when I went looking for a refill, I could be wrong). I’m currently using the Revlon ColorStay Brow Pencil. It was recommended to me when I couldn’t find the NYX and I was too lazy to go around testing other products. It’s okay, alas a bit too thick for my liking. I will not be repurchasing it.

3.      Mascara – I’m currently loving the Loreal Paris Telescopic Mascara. It provides me with length and it’s less clumpy. I also have a couple of Essence mascaras; talk about value for money. You get better results than with most mascaras for half the price.

4.      Lastly, I put some colour on my lips – Mostly use tinted lip bums. I can’t say I’m particularly pleased with any of them really. Especially because I haven’t found one as moisturising as Vaseline while giving me lasting pigmentation, any suggestions ladies?

That’s it ladies! I’m ready to face the world!

Yimina ozithobayo

Snothando Shezi

Protective Styling

When it comes to protective styling, I alternate between a few styles. I like to keep them for a full week whenever possible, box braids stay for longer of course, about a month. I find that the longer my hair gets, the more options I have; roll, tuck, and pin styles are my favourite, second only to amagoda. Why protective style you ask? Here are some of the reasons.

Length retention

The name 'protective style' already suggests your hair is getting some form of protection. What you’re protecting mostly is the ends of your hair (oldest and most fragile). By keeping your hair tucked away you protect it from environmental damage and the biggest enemy of all, manipulation. The more you manipulate your hair the more prone to mechanical damage it becomes, which leads to breakage. Hence the myth that our hair doesn’t grow. It does; it’s just more prone to breakage than other hair types. And if the rate of growth is almost equal to and in some cases less than the rate of breakage it makes it appear as though the hair is not growing.

Convenience

Styling natural hair every morning can be time consuming. Mind you, some of these styles need to be prepped the night before. Even worse, your prep flops and you’re stuck with a shrunken mess the next morning. Not to mention, the time you spend getting ready in the morning is directly proportional to the amount of time you have to snooze your alarm. If I don’t have to do my hair in the morning, then I get an extra 20 minutes of sleep, yippee!

I usually do my protective style on Sunday after washing my hair ( see washday routine here), and all I have to do in the morning is take off my doek and voila! At night I spritz the hair and put on my doek; easy-peasy. Here are some of my protective styles.

Amagoda – part the hair into four sections; plait each section and tuck the ends.

Bun/Roll tuck and pin – brush the hair upwards to prepare for a bun. Use an elastic band - if you're fancy like that, I use an old pantihose 👀 - starting from the perimeter of the hair and roll it upwards to the position you want the bun to be. Split the bun into seven small sections – one in the middle and six around it. Pin each section down using hair pins.

Box braids – I do my own braids at home, I have a phobia of saloons lol. They tend to tug, pull and straighten carelessly, at least in my experience. I decorate the braids with beads, some are hair beads, but most of them are from one of my necklaces :)

Igoda – this one is real easy. Tie a top knot with your hair; attach the single braid the same way you would box braids. Using a thinner braided extension, wrap around the base of your igoda to decorate and hide any imperfections.

There! Two styles with my natural hair and two with extensions.

Yimina ozithobayo,

Snothando

My Hair Wash Day Routine #1

Hair wash day, is it really the whole day? Not for me, I don’t have the patience. When I started out, and I was all excited about this new discovery that is my natural hair it used to be a whole day affair. As years go by, I try and simplify things and I’ve learned a thing or two about my own hair; what works and what doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no guru, I’m still learning. However, things aren’t as complicated or as big a deal as they used to be.

Mainly I have two types of wash routines. Maybe four, but I’m not here trying to perpetuate bad habits; but we’ve all had those lazy days... I’m going to discuss Wash Routine #1 in this article.

The first wash day routine is the long one. I Prepoo, Shampoo, Deep condition, Rinse, and Moisturise. Whew!

Prepoo

I start with ‘dirty’ hair. Spritz it with water, I prefer lukewarm water. I have low porosity hair, so warming things up helps with the absorption, or at least I think it does. I then apply oil, usually coconut oil or olive oil. Cover my hair with a plastic cap and let it sit for a minimum of 30 minutes. I usually use shopping bags for my cap; although they’re not as cute, they’re bigger, convenient, cheaper and greener.

Shampoo

I rinse the prepoo off with warm water. Apply shampoo, concentrating on the scalp. To be honest though, this is not always possible. Sometimes my fingers aren’t able to wade through my roots and I feel like I’m pulling and tangling my hair. I do my best; it has to be good enough, right?

I then dry my hair off; usually wrap it in a towel. I tried the t-shirt thing, but it would get too wet and I wasn’t sure if the benefit was worth the effort. Also, sometimes I’d forget to place it close by, which means I need to wrap my hair in a towel while looking for the t-shirt, lol.

Deep condition

Once the hair is dry enough that it’s not dripping, I apply deep conditioner generously, concentrating on the edges, the oldest part of my hair. Wrap the hair up in a plastic cap and a doek; you gotta trap all the heat in girl. I let the conditioner sit for at least 30 minutes. Even though the directions on most deep conditioners say 5-10 minutes, I only follow those directions on my lazy wash days, topic for another day:)

Rinse

I then rinse off the deep conditioner with warm water. Follow that up with a rinse off conditioner; apparently it helps close the cuticle back up, giving the hair a smooth finish. I rinse off the conditioner with relatively cold water (as cold as I handle which is not much, lol); again to help close the cuticle. Wrap the hair in a towel.

Moisturise

Moisture, moisture, moisture. Probably the most important step in my hair care routine. Now, I will admit, this step is still a hit or miss for me. Sometimes I get it right from day one, and sometimes my hair only starts feeling soft on day 3 or 4 – I use softness as a measure of how much my hair is moisturised.

Once my hair is about 80% dry I apply leave-in conditioner; followed by an oil and then a cream moisturiser.

That’s it folks, Hair Wash Routine #1 done!

Yimina ozithobayo,

Snothando

Issa Start

Hi,

I’ve been thinking about blogging for a while now, but have always been too scared. I’ve found every excuse under the sun not to do it. I don’t have the equipment (e.g. fancy camera), I don’t have the time (full time and very demanding job). Where would I start, what would I write about? English is not my first language and I’m bound to make grammatical errors. What if no one reads it? Am I passionate enough to always make the effort? Am I creative enough? I don’t really keep up with social media and the latest developments, will what I have to share be relevant?

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but it’s a start. I’ve finally put something on paper. It’s not just something in my head and my dreams anymore. I’ve actually acted…

Yimina ozithobayo,

Snothando