The Real Woman

This term ‘real woman’ has always bothered me. What am I talking about? …

A male celebrity, many women’s heartthrob, successful actor, was recently pictured with his fiancé on a beach somewhere; wearing beach appropriate attire. The lady was wearing a white one piece, high leg, and low-cut back swimsuit. She’s on the thicker side. Not fat, but not skinny either. She’s what I’d call average sized. Although I can’t say for sure, her body looks natural - as opposed to surgically enhanced. She has cellulite, stretch marks and all; a beautiful, natural-looking body. It was refreshing to see really. 

Then I started reading the comments. There were naysayers as always, but most of the comments were positive. This is great, right?

Here’s where my concern comes in, some of the positive comments kept referring to the ‘real woman’ phenomenon. “It’s refreshing to see a real woman’s body”. Look, I get it, media is filled with photoshopped and surgically enhanced bodies. It’s reassuring to see something different from time to time. A body type that perhaps the majority of women can identify with.

That being said, referring to her body as ‘real’ almost implies that someone who has a different body type is not a real woman. I have seen this kind of commentary many times. 

It begs the question, what makes her body more real than a woman who is slimmer or is perhaps cellulite free? The closer to ‘perfection’ your body is, the less real you are? Can we not find a way to compliment her beautiful body without causing division and implying that someone else is less than? If her body is that of a ‘real woman’ how should someone who doesn’t have thick thighs identify themselves, are they not real women?

For me the ideal goal would be to stop body shaming period. Celebrate the diversity; all shapes and all sizes. We’re not going to achieve that by flipping the table; slyly shaming the media-celebrated body type in order to elevate the other (thicker). It seems vengeful.

Everyone deserves to feel beautiful, and we’re all REAL.

Yimina ozithobayo,

Snothando