Tuesday 4 December 2018

Whose Table Is It


The proverbial table. We've all heard and/or participated in discussions regarding 'the table'.  Some people will even go as far as claiming that they don't bring stuff to the table because they ARE the table, lol.

A friend sent me a message, you know the usual screenshots doing the rounds on social media. The screenshot read,

“Men want women to bring something to the table but the table is not even his. The table was given to his grandma by her employer, then the grandma gave it to his mother, who gave it to him and now it’s broken because men destroy things.

Now, you want me to bring something to your grandma’s employer’s broken table? No. It is an honour for me to even come to this table so I’m not bringing anything.

I will consider bringing something to the table if you can prove that it is yours, and it better be in good condition because I got my ish together and I’m not about to settle for a broken table.”


This message has so many nuances. I'm not gonna get into all of them, but it got me thinking. Yes the state of the table is important, but whose table is it?

I don’t have all the answers either, but the notion that the table belongs to the man already puts me at a disadvantage, and my role becomes that of an invitee. If I let the table be someone else’s responsibility then I’ll always be a guest… at someone else’s table. Can one be a guest and an equal at the same time? If I want equality, which I interpret as FAIRNESS, it is realistic for me relinquish all the 'table' responsibility to someone else?

As convenient and easy as it would be for me to sit at someone else’s table, I’ve decided that maybe I don’t want to. Instead of bringing cute ornaments to the table I wanna help build the table. If for no other reason than the simple fact that I can. 

…and unlike the ‘grandma’ and the ‘mother’ referred to in this screenshot, I want full credit for it… and all the rights and privileges that come with being part-owner of the said table.

What do you think?

Yimina ozithobayo,


Snothando

1 comment:

  1. Wow! Very interesting. I enjoyed reading blog. Yeah, I'm the guest. The table might be broken or not, but most definitely I will set up the table and bring cooked food. I will always do most of the work, but it doesn't matter because I'm just the guest. The praises will go to the owner.

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